Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Bloggy relationship etiquette question

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tuxedo said...

I wouldn't worry about any minor missteps of etiquette in a situation like that. If they're dissolving a marriage of nearly ten years, chances are they've got bigger things to worry about than whether a mutual blogging friend is on one side, or the other, or both.

If you feel it's appropriate to offer your sympathies and support to either of them, then you ought to go ahead and do so. If you'd like to offer sympathies and support to both of them, then that ought to be fine, too. If there's something about the situation that makes you uncomfortable about letting each know that you're supporting the other, too, I'd say send email instead of posting publicly. It's the online equivalent of grabbing coffee separately with each of them to offer support.

If one, or the other, or both of 'em decide to pick an argument involving you over the matter, then that should give you a much clearer idea of whether you want to stay in contact with one over the other--or with neither.

Andrea said...

Oh, wow.

I'm trying not to be nosy and ask who.

I would probably offer some support to both, and hope that it never comes to a point where I'm asked to pick sides.

Miche said...

tuxedo: Very good point. Blog etiquette is likely not high on their list of priorities.

Quite the shocker for me though. I hadn't even realized they live in the same city, let alone knew each other!

andrea: I'm sure it won't come down to picking sides.

Marla said...

So, did you know the bloggy reads were married to each other? I mean, are they? It's not entirely clear from what you wrote, but that's what I'm getting.

I'm guessing similarly worded yet genuine expressions of concern or sympathy to each is fine.

Unless you want to be that person who picks a side, commiserates; then they get back together, and you get the cold shoulder because you said what you really thought and now they can side together against you?

Miche said...

marla: Yeah. They were married to one another, but I didn't know that until they weren't anymore.

Picking sides to support is always a sticky thing, non?