Saturday, February 5, 2011


I've had frequent episodes of feeling ungrateful in the recent past. Feeling tremendous disappointment with outcomes of things into which I put a lot of thought and effort. Frustration with my inability to generate income. Hopelessness with the keeping up with chores. The futility of repeatedly throwing my body against proverbial brick walls. Instead of giving up, I keep doing the same things but with greater intensity.

It's not working. Big surprise.

While I spend the majority of my time cheefully and optimistically forging ahead, these episodes of feeling completely stuck really drag me down.

I know intellectually that perhaps, just a little, I'm trying too hard. Quite frankly, I don't know how to let go enough to decrease the magnitude. I know at the very least that I need to back off and relax about things. M'be stop trying all together. Not quite sure how to get there from here.

And then, with some effort, I need to remind myself to get my head out of my butt. That my problems are completely and utterly #FirstWorldProblems. I have a wonderful family and my health and food and shelter and clean water so quityerbitching already.

In a life with so much, how can it be so easy to loose focus and spend time and effort moaning and groussing?

Time to start focusing back on the gratitude.

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