Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Troubling Trouble

Yes, I know the old adage about not troubling trouble 'til it troubles you. But I'm an anxious worrier. My mind races through the myriad of possible outcomes and fixates on the less than desirable ones. Yes, I'm working on letting that go. But until then....

My child is typically on the trailing end of the learning curve. Walking, talking, reading etc. On the curve, mind you, but wM tends to lag just a touch. Marching to the beat of her own drummer. She waits until she's good and ready thank. you. very. much.

Many of her friends, however, are truly gifted in one or more areas. A couple are reading 3 grade levels above what's expected. Some have perfect pitch. Some excel at math. Some are super athletic. It bums wM out when she notices the gap. We try to focus on individual accomplishment and less on comparison. "No matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone better and worse." It is important to me as a parent, however, that wM have something of her own in which she can excel.

Lucky for us, one of extracurricular physical activities that delights wM is something in which she is progressing slightly ahead of the curve. Go team wM!

Here's the sticking point. One of her closer friends (who excels markedly in a few areas) wishes to join wM in this extracurricular. wM seems happy with the idea that her friend will be in her class. But a little niggling part in the back of my brain can't help but be a little worried that her friend will eclipse her and take the shine off of the one thing that's been her's alone until now.

Can anyone out there tell me how to shut that part of the brain off?



Andrea said...

It all sounds perfectly normal to me. I think most people in that situation would be borrowing a bit of trouble.

Anonymous said...

There are no easy answers. The only thing I can recommend is to show her, to teach her, to feel pride in herself for her accomplishments, outside of what others do. This is hard and takes practice. Good luck!

Miche said...

Andrea: Thanks for letting me know I haven't completely over reacted!

Javaline: Yup. On the same page as you. And we have plenty of opportunities to practice that.